Day 19 or 20…3.7.11

This is the most boring post ever, just be prepared all you readers out there. As IF…

I got up, had an amazing blueberry scone and rooibos tea, finished Rabbit, Run, did a good deal of napping, the maintenance guy finally came and fixed my vanity. Oh, what the hell else…painted some pictures of nude women, I was inspired by an apartment building on TV in Manhattan, a quick flash of a nude painting, and so I did a few of my own. No, I am not posting them. Would make a good post, except I’ve thrown them all in the garbage.

90 minutes of yoga, good

Watching episode after episode of Sex & the City, which normally doesn’t seem like a good idea, might make me crazy(ier), but it’s turning out inspiring. It’s just serving to make me curious to date more. That is hard to do right now, but I know that you can’t wait around for someone who doesn’t (really) want you. I know what it looks like when a man is in love, and I want that. In the words of Cheap Trick…”I want you to want me.” I’m really just digging the idea of a husband and a baby and some dogs and a wonderful, cozy little life right now. Bleh, I’m ready, why do I have to wait for the whims of fate?

Must get out more.

Why am I attracted to smokers? And then get upset when they smoke? I think I want a smoker (who rolls his own) and only wants to smoke every now and again (like me). Because addictions aren’t sexy, but a tobacco-induced head swim every now and again and a demure exhale is somehow appealing.

I want to meet people.

I want to be more active on the Denver social scene, see what bubbles beneath the surface, what happens behind closed doors, around corners, and under dim lights. I want to get to know the city I live in like a native.

I try not to be at home too much, today was kind of a rest day. And now here I am at 7:38 on a Monday night after a 3-day weekend, and debating going out. Going out where? I don’t know…feeling claustrophobic. I’m also trying not to drink at all for a while, and see if it regulates my cycles, I don’t know, troublesome female problems I am determined to rectify. Not drinking makes it harder to lead a social life, especially if you’re single, that’s not weak, that’s not a cop out, it’s just a cultural fact, let’s be honest about it.

And the picture for the day is of Gannon because he is the best thing I saw today, and we snuggled all day long, him on my lap, wool gathering, kneading, and purring. He might be a naughty boy sometimes, and he drives me crazy, and I want to spank his little kitty face when he bothers my Emmy, but he loves me, and he’s the most consistent male I have in my life these days. To Gannon!

A couple things that annoy me about Sex & the City…most single women aren’t insanely rich, don’t meet super eligible, handsome men every time they leave the house, don’t have all the fun and clothes and wonderful friends in the world and go to all the parties and are on all the guest lists and A-lists…in MANHATTAN, no less.

It’s kind of poppycock, is what it is.

Waiting for true love to come your way is like waiting for a little butterfly (remember those little yellow ones that flew around the yard in the summertime when you were little?) to alight on your hand. Or to find a four leaf clover. I hope it isn’t the latter because I’ve never found one of those…but then of course, maybe the analogy is perfect…?

I don’t know.