Day 23 3.10.11

Drinks at Great Divide. So many drinks throughout the night, good god. Then, we went to Tryst…and got a plate of Nachos at some random restaurant. Finally, free show at Cervantes, and it was actually awesome. I don’t it’s possible to go to Cervantes and not get rowdy. We got pretty darn silly, but we didn’t fight, and that was really good, and it was nice.

And now he’s gone again. I have never had such a complex relationship with someone in my life, I’m not saying for the good or the bad, but complex. It’s as though we are soul mates who cannot be together.

So few things in my life at the moment feel right. I am struggling in a big way with my job. I fell apart before my boss’ eyes today. Three kleenex worth of tears in his office. At one point I jumped up from my seat and spun around in a circle with my arms spread, smiling, giving him an example of how happy I was to leave work at the end of the day. lol. Yeah, that actually happened. He asked me if this was better or worse than my last job. “So much worse.” I said. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I be happy, just be happy and content? Is there something wrong with my brain chemistry?

Ross had a good interview for a job at Coors Brewing Company. Please gods in the heavens, please shine down on him and let him have this job. Please protect his health and keep him safe. Please let the chips start to fall in his favor.

What a growing time of life it is.